When we put up the tree a couple weeks ago, I knew I had about 2 years worth of new ornaments to make as a number of babies have been born since then. And also for those infants and children who have left us.
I asked Gerry if he thinks we'll still be making some for ours, and he said "hell ya, and it'll be placed right on top of the tree by Santa!!!".
Because of our second miscarriage right before Christmas last year, we tried to make the most of it this year. Some people in my support group call it the "hellidays" - a time to be festive when they are frankly not in the mood. Last year on Christmas no one said anything to us about our loss. Some just don't know what to say and try not to upset you by simply asking how you are doing. I try not to be upset by that as this is why pregnancy and infant loss needs awareness. I sat solo for a while pretending to watch TV, not wanting to bum out anyone else's day. We bailed on all other parties.
Each year I think about what our holidays should be like with our own kids each Christmas morning. We only had a few parties to go to this year and I gave myself a gold star each time I got through the annual updates of people we don't see too often: noticing the babies that have been born since last year, those now pregnant or pregnant again, and the kids who have grown; trying to find something, anything, that is new or an update for us this year. That's the toughest part for me.
This year we subconsciously centred Christmas around Moshi. She is our dog-ghter after all. She got a new toy/BFF named Ted (after the movie since it comes to life - she was freaked out at first but now loves him!). Petsmart toys for our wreath and doggie biscuit treats for her friends and cousins as I wasn't in the mood to make xmas cookies this year - plus its the canines who tend to get missed out from the goodies.
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