Sunday, December 30, 2012

Even the US border guard gives us fertility advice

Of course we got the slowest lane at the border today. Dude was snooping in every car.
Where you going? - Seattle
Why? - visit relatives
No dog? (her backseat cover and pillow still there) - At mom's [you gonna check the hidden compartment in the trunk?]
What's that envelope? - Paperwork
For what? - We going to a fertility clinic for a consult.
Aren't they better in Canada? [Now going through our luggage]. So many Americans go there! - Thought we'ld see.
Hear the technology is so much better. - Well [exasperated] trying for three years now...
All these usa-c-ers [wtf?] are going up north. Heard it's much better. - Nodded [Hmm, have you been masturbating into a plastic cup lately?]
So many go to Canada. - [Well let's go home and re-evaluate this plan]
You paying over 10K for the fees? - No, it's just a consult.
Nothin' illegal, - [thanks for confirming...what if I stalk the local maternity ward?]
Tell us next time. - We're still seeing relatives.
It's a dual purpose so let us know. Nothin' illegal. - [fuck]
Even if you bring a chq (who has a prewritten chq when travelling?) - okay, unless sent before right? [think I'll use my visa to buy a baby though]
Oh yeah, if electronic it's fine. Just tell us if you do because a monetary declaration must be made. - [is this over yet?]
Well good luck to you guys. - Thank you! [We'll name our first born after you: "Dumbass"]

Note to self:
Next time, hide the envelope.



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