Love, reign o'er me

Gerry was away this weekend in Seattle deservedly having some fun while I studied. Last night I watched a movie on Netflix called Reign Over Me, which is about a widower, who after 5 years is still grieving the loss of his family (and dog) from 9/11. I saw it years ago and watched it again from a different lens. 

In addition to creating anxiety provoking thoughts of losing my family one day, something I think of at times whether or not I have kids, the movie was so much about what many of my stillbirth babyloss group friends and experts in the field have been discussing, and very much applicable to loss of life at any age:

Grief can result from a traumatic experience and lead to PTSD.
Grief should not be automatically medicalized and treated with prescriptions.
Grief does not have a timeline or an expiry date.
Grief is handled differently by each person.
Sometimes the best way to help is to just be there.


In addition to the message the movie gives, the title is inspired by a classic song Love, reign o'er me written by The Who and covered by Pearl Jam who I loved in my younger days. It is poetic and beautiful and sung by Pearl Jam with so much power. I didn't get the full meaning when I was a kid listening to The Who's version but loved the song anyway. 

Peter Townsend, who wrote the song, said it was about a teenager on the edge of suicide wanting to surrender to the inevitable and drown only this time in the rain yet gets reigned back in to the same old shit just slightly more empowered at a new level to try again. "He's weak still, but there's a strength in that weakness." I can honestly say I've felt that way a few times these past couple years.

Only love
Can make it rain
The way the beach is kissed by the sea.
Only love
Can make it rain
Like the sweat of lovers
Laying in the fields.

Love, reign o'er me.
Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er me, reign o'er me.

Only love
Can bring the rain
That makes you yearn to the sky.
Only love
Can bring the rain
That falls like tears from on high.

Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er me, reign o'er me.
Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er me, reign o'er me.

On the dry and dusty road
The nights we spend apart alone
I need to get back home to cool cool rain.
I can't sleep and I lay and I think
The nights is hot and black as ink
Oh God, I need a drink of cool cool rain.