Serenity

One of my favourite Uncles passed away this week. He was the one who sponsored our whole family to emigrate from India, was a pioneer as the Executive Director of Engineering for Boeing and worked on projects for the US military and NASA that he couldn't even tell his kids about, and was such a decent and caring person. He was also an amazing father and encouraged his daughter to study mechanical engineering - a rarity at the time, and was supportive of my family when my mom divorced my dad when I was six years old - a rarity for Indian families, especially at that time.

Some of the things I wrote about him to my cousins were:

Uncle was always a role model to me as well as a father figure. I remember the advice he gave us on education, careers and family, the love he had for our family every time we came to Seattle, the visits to Vancouver where he would take our directions and draw detailed maps with specific symbols for bridges and rivers, the first good glass of wine he served me (plus the Banana Rum from the Caribbean), the speeches he gave at Sanjay and Steve’s weddings about marriage and companionship, his snoring through the bedroom and even hotel walls, the discussions about his Republican loyalty coming from a confused Canadian-US-wannabee-Democrat, and of course the airplanes – lots of airplanes. Over the years, I’ve told Gerry so much about his character and how highly respected he was personally and professionally. I have been meaning to read his books, especially his journey from India and will do so now. 

My cousin sent me this passage from the Serenity Prayer in remembrance of his Dad. My Uncle's life motto:

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

I have been thinking about this a lot over the past few days in reflection of us being unable to achieve a viable pregnancy...the looming fact that the next round of treatment and possible decision to adopt may still leave us childless. I'm trying to think of it as more courageous than defeating for couples in our situation to accept that one cannot change things that they have no control over, and to not feel embarrassed and defensive about it, but for right now, I'm not there yet ...but maybe an inch closer.

God bless you, Uncle.